Guest Post: Michelle @ On The Adventure

Sep 4, 2012

I fly into Dallas from Jackson Hole today (hopefully to be greeted at the airport by Josh and Charlie, of course) but in the meantime I wanted to let one of my favorite Texans chat with y'all a little bit today.
Michelle and I both share an intense love for our fantastic pups, good live music, and we both successfully got our Masters this summer.
Except she is a Master in teaching little heathens kids all day long, and I'm a Master of giving them shots and meds and making them cry.
Michelle is also the greatest because gets all the cred for introducing me to one of my new obsessions, The Lumineers. 
(Basically, we are pretty much the same person)
Today she's gonna teach y'all exactly why Texas is the coolest, and please take her word for it because she really is THE coolest. 

Hello there friends! My name is Michelle and I blog over at On The Adventure. I love all things outdoors, dogs, bikes, oh.... and my sweet, sweet state, Texas.

You see, if you're from Texas you just adore it. We are a pretty proud people (I'm sure you've caught on to that by now!). I love the history, I love the cities (oh Austin, be still my heart), I love the food. You know what I may just love the most? The fact that Emily, oh just the lovely creator of this here blog, is going to be moving to Texas! 

Stop. it. right. now.

To say I am excited is most certainly an understatement! Imagine puppies in baskets on pink beautiful bicycles riding into a bajillion rainbows. Sound like the best day ever? Obviously. Would you be so seriously excited to do that? Um duh. Now multiply that times about 147 and that is how pumped I am that Emily is coming here. To Texas.

Because Emily is headed into uncharted territory (aside from visiting that man friend of hers) I thought it would be helpful to share some tips, a guidebook of sorts, on how to avoid the "I'm not from here" stereotype and to fit right in with us native Texans. I know, it sounds difficult, but believe me: it. can. be. done.

6 Tips for Fitting in As a True Texan

1. When its 70 degrees outside have a jacket (no matter what).

Every time there is a "cold front" (which really means any temperature less than 85 degrees) be prepared for everyone around you to flip out. We have four seasons here in Texas: hot, hotter, unbearably hot, and not-so-hot. When the last one comes around, oh about 7 days out of the whole year, break out your parka! Us southerners cannot handle cold weather, no we sure can't. if you want people to think your really a True Texan, remember this (and always have a North Face in arm's reach!)

2. Assume that bar-b-que sauce tastes good on anything.

Let's be real, it does. If anyone asks if you want sauce for your ______ (insert any food item here) always ask for BBQ sauce. Trust me. And believe that this will most certainly plant you on the fast-track to Texan-hood! 

3. When asked what your favorite ice cream flavor is, always reply with Blue Bell.

So maybe its not exactly a flavor, but is made and sold only in Texas (you know how we are about pride!). Loving Blue Bell just comes with the territory, really, and I don't think that is really a problem :) Professing your love for all things Blue Bell is not only easy (let's be real, its but one huge factor in showing you're a True Texan through and through! 

4. There's a festival for everything

Whether its mosquitos (real life), chili (we have this thing for food, you see), music (maybe its primarily country, but whatever), you name it, we celebrate it! Texans, as a general rule, like to party. Prepare yourself for a celebration for everything and enjoy the ride. After all, celebrations involve beer, incredible food, and a guaranteed good time!

5. We don't use horses as a main mode of transportation, but you can in fact, make a pretty lucrative career out of it.

Two words: Rodeo season. It's a big deal, and when I say big, I really mean superginormoushugegigantic. We may not all live home, home on the range, but we all love to see a cowboy (with those tight jeans on) hold on to a bull's back for dear life. Believe it or not, professional rodeo riders make a pretty sweet living off of risking their lives daily. Don't assume we all ride horses (because I sure am scared of them. Um, they're huge and can run fast - terrifying) but do assume we all enjoy watching men ride them. Booooy do we!

6. When someone sings a strange song to you beginning with "The stars at night are big and bright..." always respond with *clap clap clap* "Deep in the hear of Texas!".

Everyone knows it, and you should too. Trust me on this, its our unofficial state song and any Texan knows it by heart. 

Bonus Tip: Since you'll be hanging around Dallas know this: Bigger is always better. 

Hair, cars, accessories.... regardless of what it is, if its big they'll know you're a Texan. We are a giant state with a giant history. We like to channel all of that giant energy into our everyday lives. Get ready to drive next to pick-up trucks the size of your house and to see women with hair at least 10 inches off their head (the higher the hair, the closer to God!). Its a fantastic thing and I am more than sure you'll enjoy it. The day you tease your bangs though, let me know, I'll bring you back to reality. 

Have fun on your trip, and if you need some practicing before you move, you know who to call! :) Thanks for letting me hang out today, Emily, its been the best. day. ever.

source: one, two, threefour, fivesix


Harri Davison said...

Me and my boyfriend are desperate to go to Texas, were planning it for next summer, brill post x

Alex, Speaking Denglish said...

Sums up Texas SO well!

Sammantha said...

Considering I have this awkward fantasy about living in Texas, I really love this post! LOL

The Adventurer said...

yayay SO happy to be here. And SO HAPPY that you're almost a Texan. Bah. Get ready!

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