THE Greatest Salsa In The World

My grandmother makes the world's greatest homemade salsa each year for Christmas Eve dinner (along with our fajitas and Mango margaritas).

It's probably the highlight of Christmas (aside from celebrating baby Jesus of course)

Have I mentioned that our grandmother is amazing? 

. . . so for the past few years my mom has been making it in mass quantities and giving it out to our friends for Christmas gifts.

This year, we believe we set a record by multiplying the recipe by 20. 

We made two whooooole crawfish boilin pots full of hot sauce.

Is it weird that my entire family refers to salsa as hot sauce? 

I don't think its weird, but Josh does.

He likes to argue about it, and I usually just let him win.

His argument is that THIS is hot sauce:

. . . so I guess it doessss make sense.

But when I go in a Mexican restaurant and ask for chips and hot sauce (now I do it just to annoy Josh/to make a point) the waiter always knows JUST what I mean. 

Maybe he has ESP or something?

Anyways, here's how it all goes down:

Interpretation:

2 1/2 cup petite diced tomatoes (x 4 = 1 gallon)

1 cup onion

1/4 cup jalapeño

1/4 cup vinegar

2 tablespoons sugar

1 1/2 tsp cilantro (8 tablespoons = 1/2 cup for cilantro)

1 tsp salt

1 tsp cumin

1/4 tsp red pepper

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (or 4 cloves)

Simmer it all for one hour

If you want to make it in a mass quantity (twelve 16 oz jars), then save yourself the stress of math and use these amounts:

120-ish ounces of petite diced tomatoes

3 12 oz bags of frozen diced onions

1 cup chopped jalapenos

 1 cup vinegar

8 tablespoons sugar

1/2-3/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro (one bunch?)

4 teaspoons salt

4 teaspoons cumin

1 teaspoon red pepper

16 cloves of garlic (8 teaspoons garlic powder)

We just kinda add more or less here and there depending on the taste, which usually ends up being add more jalapeño.
Just combine all the ingredients and let it simmer for an hour or so.

I think it's the cilantro that does the trick. 

. . . or the sugar.

Who cares what it is.

This stuff is ridiculous.

Side note: You have to eat it with the red and green Christmas tortilla chips!
It's the rules.

Now, you officially have my permission to go home, gather the ingredients, cook away, and have your mind blownnnnnnnnnn.

Right now.

Go.